Chapter One: Drywall

Whether you focus on the words that follow in this book or not, I guarantee you that your actions after reading it will not change its meaning; neither will anyone else's full or lack of attention give the following words any type of symbolic resonance worth anyone's time, ever. Some will argue this fact and those that do must be told to refer to the previous statement. For reader's, who are forgetful, ignorant, or stubborn, I have to write these words, so heed them well if you're one of those, this work is fictitious. The characters live in their own world, have their own identity, and do not represent anyone in reality. I assure you that their lives are only a part of ours in as much as we make them. I suppose that's all that we have in common.

Chapter One: Drywall

 The autumn seemed to live in my house. Leaves cluttered up the kitchen corner and incense filled my lungs. It's hard to breathe and I'm drinking coffee again. Jittery, run down, and sitting in a house filled with orange, purple, and golden brown. The dog whined and I blared music in my headphones until it felt like the drummer in my frontal lobe was trying to escape. Tarot cards covered the only table in the living room. I wanted to carve my name into the sheet rock. But, I can't. There were too many names already on the wall and I didn't want to waste my time being one of those that have left a mark. I turned my attention to the brown mold eating the paint underneath the air conditioning unit.

“It's too late to fix it. Not like it'll be there forever.” I push on the wall with my foot. It gives a little bit and the stench of mold reeks its way up to my nostrils.

A tall lanky man, my brother, leaned to one side and kicked at the wall. Nothing moved.“Still wet. Time to call her.”

“Call the landlady? What's the use in that? She's just going to blame her faulty apartment appliances on me. Like I'm a certified air conditioner mechanic. The hell. No, I'll just let the wall fall in before I get called a liar. Then we'll cut the lease, probably.”

I turned the music up louder. The pain was too good to turn it down. My brother glared at me. I didn't know what to say, but I knew what was coming next from him. He walked to the window and bent down to peer through the blinds. I always hated when he did this sort of thing. I grumbled over to the wand and turned it to let the light in.

“I'll go talk to her. She needs to fix this. We can't live with mold in the house. That's disgusting. Plus, you're not dying of black lung because you feel like roughing it out and acting like a fool.”

Would've been best to leave it. He could've solved the problem. Just push things off of my plate. This life wasn't about causing conflict. I decided to breathe. Everything would be just fine. He'd make the call.

“Nah, I'll get around to it man. I just hate that she tricked us into a shitty lease. Other people have excellent heating and air. She could have told us to wait for one of the newer apartments to become available. I'll get to it.”

Some leaves blew into the room. Memphis and Autumn, great time to save on electric bills, a poor time for cleaning, I looked at the broom. He moved as to clean up the mess. I snatched it up first.

“House is getting to be a mess. When did you say she'd be by? She's going to be pissed that the wall is still like this. I mean, it's a health hazard.”

I stopped listening and resolved myself to lift as much dirt from the 1970's out of a crack in the floor board as I could. Dust drifted by from underneath the couch. I chased it until he was through being speaking. The light shines in his face and there's silence for about an hour. I put away the broom and dustpan and sat on the couch.

Quinn spoke,“When will you tell her about me?”

“I didn't know that it was going to be such an issue with you. You never have an interest in who I'm seeing. Besides, I find the fact that you're so excited to meet her creepy. Try being a little respectful. I'll tell you something when I want to.”

“What about the car accident?”

“If she has a problem with it I'll deal with it when it comes to it.”

“You did tell her about how I look right?”

“Sort of, I told her not to pay too much attention to it. Besides you look fine. You're even getting around without any help now. Better than that day you came back from the hospital.”

“What will you do if she can't stand to look at me?”

“I guess we'll have to put a bag over your head. I went to the store yesterday. Picked out a nice yellow one. It has holes in it so you should be sa-”

A pillow smacked me in the face. It was always this way. He was insecure about being seen. I made fun of those insecurities. I got hit with something across the room. It has been this way since we were three and four.

“I have to get ready.”

“Yeah. Hot date and all. Maybe, I'll take a walk.”

Somehow, I knew that it would come to this. We're passive aggressive for about two hours and then ultimately he decided to split. Beyond predictable.

“Well that's fine. If you don't want to meet her I'm sure there will be other times. You need a day to just walk around a bit. Staying locked up in this apartment isn't good for either of us. Get out and see the world. Go grab a beer at Huey's. Eat some red meat. DO man things. Just get out of the apartment.”

“Man things. That sounds appealing. Well, I'll do it.”

I chuckle. Red meat and beer. Man's kryptonite.